Monday, November 29, 2010

Private lives

Many of the most interesting women I know are in their 80s and 90s, and I'm often comforted by the idea that in spite of all that was put on them as younger women they managed to keep what was necessary for themselves while discarding much of the rest. I hope this option will remain available for younger women today, who can seem profoundly insecure in comparison, no thanks I am sure to the degree of scrutiny attached to them at all times.

4 comments:

chromalux said...

Did you really just suggest that all young women are "profoundly insecure"?

And do you have any idea how disgusting that reads?

JRB said...

Chromalux:

Did I really just suggest that all young women are "profoundly insecure"? It's a good question!

And I'm open to the possibility that whatever sentiment I tried to convey here is "disgusting" to read. That's OK. Part of the reason why I am here is to work through some "disgusting" stuff. But I can only do that by being honest. Whether or not that "honesty" is pleasant, I hope it will nonetheless prove useful.

I have some responsibilities here, but so do you. This would include reading things in context, and erring on the side of dialogue, not easy accusation. I have every expectation that you can think for yourself, and don't need me to do your thinking for you.

anticapped said...

JRB,

I am dissapointed.

You explicitly say that women who aren't under 80 seem insecure. You make this statement as a white man. I was shocked when I read this entry. I was excited when I first saw this blog because I strongly believe that what anarchism needs right now more than anything is integration of theories of oppression that are not reduced to economics. I saw this space as an attempt to do that.

Given your response above it seems like this space is actually a place for you to offload whatever personal issues you have as a white man on oppressed people. Your more recent link to that terribly antifeminist broadsnark article confirms this. That sucks.

If you want to be an ally to people in oppressed classes that aren't white and male you need to learn that the struggle isn't about you and whatever shit you were programmed with by capitalism and patriarchy. Their struggle isn't about your privilege and your attempts to grieve over it. You need to figure that stuff out before you make an attempt to speak on their behalf. They are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves, and they know a faker when they see one.

If you want to talk this shit over with another white guy i'm at anticapped at gmail.com

JRB said...

Anticapped:

Thanks for the comment.

I wrote a response at the time that I see now was never published.

I think you and Chromalux may be right to take issue with my approach here, which was meant to be honest. I'm sorry if it disappointed or disgusted you, because I'd rather the both of you not have to deal with that any more than you have to already.

I do think there is a need to be honest within any attempt to engage these kinds of things, and I know I'm not always going to be right. But I think I better take your meaning now that I've had some time to reflect on it seriously. Thank you for that.